Haidah's Story

Primary school was a happy place for Haidah. She remembers laughter in the classrooms, good friends, and the feeling of belonging. But as she entered Primary 5, something shifted. Her aunt's passing and the family's impending move, coupled with her brother transitioning to secondary school and leaving her mostly alone, marked a shift. Haidah struggled with these transitions and couldn't pinpoint why she was unhappy.

At school, her brother was being bullied and started harming himself to cope. At merely eleven years old, Haidah began self-harming too. 'I thought maybe I deserved it,' she recalls. “It was a way to punish myself.” She found herself tiptoeing around her family, and her parents would counsel her brother and leave her out. In school, she started lashing out, even bullying a classmate for no reason.

Her parents, worried about her growing distress, brought her to see a psychologist. The school knew, and Haidah saw her therapist regularly. She was eventually diagnosed with panic disorder, OCD, and depression.

The diagnosis was a relief for Haidah, as she could finally label the confusion that she felt. When she told her badminton teammates, they didn’t know how to respond, and she did not expect them to.

Haidah felt alone. The labels she carried began to feel heavy, and she would rely on her therapist who accompanied her to classes everyday. Teachers would remind her of missed classes for therapy, and she began to believe that no one cared. At her lowest, she saw no point in being there at all.

Then, one day, her therapist, suggested she drop out and change her environment. Even though she was the top student in her school, she decided to leave and get a fresh start. Her parents supported her decision, wanting only for her to heal. Moving to home-schooling turned out to be a quiet turning point. “It was the first time I felt I could take charge of what I learned,” Haidah says. “It felt like I was starting on a more intentional path.”

The simple change lifted her mood and gave her space to breathe. Years later, when Haidah wrote an article about her experiences, her brother read it and told her, “After reading this, I feel okay to share my own story.”

Haidah is now an advocate for mental health, and interns at Mindfull Community. She runs the Circles of Resilience Support Group for youths, as a way to give to her community.