Gerald's Story

Caregiving was never part of Gerald’s plan—he doesn’t have children of his own. Yet, for the past eight years, Gerald has cared for his younger brother’s son, a 25-year-old with autism and OCD, and now regards him as his own.

At 16, during his O-Level year, Gerald’s nephew experienced a bullying incident in school that left him withdrawn and unwilling to attend classes. When he told his parents he didn’t want to return, they were at a loss, prompting Gerald to step in and coordinate support. Around the same time, Gerald was planning to leave his role as a senior manager, and he began caring for his nephew full-time.

Earning his nephew’s trust, Gerald guided him through the O-Levels as a private candidate. A bright student, his nephew performed well academically.

The more serious challenges began at 18, when his nephew was harassed by an older man while trying to sell a pair of shoes. The buyer shortchanged him, triggering anxiety that led him to ride the lift repeatedly. The man then threatened and insulted him. This traumatic event sparked emotional outbursts and insomnia, eventually prompting his nephew to seek psychological help.

In the months that followed, obsessive handwashing and episodes of running away became frequent. As part of his recovery, Gerald would take him on short trips to Johor Bahru for a change of scenery. On one such trip, a crowded area overwhelmed his nephew, who bolted, leaving Gerald to chase after him in panic. Later, his nephew confided that he had contemplated suicide. He was soon admitted to the Institute of Mental Health (IMH).

This marked the beginning of Gerald’s deeper commitment as a caregiver, as his nephew moved in with him permanently. Uncertain of how his nephew might react at times, Gerald found himself becoming more anxious and impatient. With encouragement from his sister Ivy, who works at Mindfull Community, Gerald joined the Caregiver-to-Caregiver (C2C) education programme earlier this year.

Through the programme, Gerald learned practical skills—from managing medication schedules to improving communication—that helped him cope more effectively. Most importantly, he no longer felt alone, having found a community of caregivers walking a similar path. His nephew’s symptoms have since improved, and he is now more independent.

When asked why he took on the responsibility of caregiving, Gerald reflected, “I could use my money to buy expensive things, but what difference to my life does that make?” He shared that this journey has transformed him, teaching him resilience, patience, and empathy. Looking ahead, Gerald hopes to pursue a career in healthcare or caregiving, aligning his professional path with the profound lessons his nephew has given him.

Read more about Gerald's story on Lianhe Zaobao here: https://www.zaobao.com.sg/news/singapore/story20251005-7592712