When Children Grow Into Their Youth
- Jun 17
- 3 min read
Updated: Jun 17
Marissa Teo (AThR) is a Registered Creative Arts Therapist with over 15 years of experience helping youth heal, connect, and grow. She joins Bridging Hearts Run 2 as our featured speaker.
What do youth most wish their parents understood?
“Most of the time, youth don’t even know what’s going on with themselves,” Marissa shares. “When parents ask ‘Why are you behaving in this way?’, the honest answer is often ‘I don’t know’.”
The thing is, during this phase of their life – when children are growing into their youth – their brain is doing its best to play catch up. There are many new experiences, changes, so they’re on overdrive, overwhelmed, and anxious. At moments like these, youths just need someone to pace with them, and simply be there with them.
“It’s okay to not have all the answers,” Marissa reassures. “Just show up, truly care, and be interested in who they are – not just what they achieve.”
How do you help families “borrow calm” from each other?
In her Bridging Hearts session, Marissa will introduce families to creative expression – music, movement, and visual art. Families will also work together on a “Family Planner”, blending different art forms to create something together.
“The beauty of it is that youths don’t need to find the right words,” she says. “They can express their emotions without saying much at all.”
By allowing a different method of expression, it removes the pressure and the expectations that’s usually present in verbal conversations of difficult topics. With these removed, true and real connection is then allowed to bloom.
“Youth don’t need verbal words,” Marissa explains. “They don’t need to talk about what it is, or put a specific name on it. And for parents, you can keep them company even when you don’t know or don’t understand. By removing the expectations, the objectives and the goals, the connection opens up and the experience becomes more accepting.”
How does creative arts therapy help teens who are afraid to open up?
“Scientific findings show that the arts create a medium for expression without requiring verbal explanation,” Marissa shares. It’s emotional representation – you’re facing your emotions as if they’re right there, but on your own terms.”
The multi-medium approach allows participants to choose their own medium and representation. “For the first time, you’re facing your emotions as if they’re right there. You can be vulnerable and healing at the same time.”
What attracts young people, she notes, is the choice. “They choose what they want to share. They can put everything down, or just what they’re comfortable sharing.”
“Families also embrace this modality; because with no expectations, with no pressure, communication and connection is allowed to foster and improve.”
What would you say to a parent who’s feeling the gap right now?
Marissa’s advice is honest and compassionate.
“As the kids grow up, there must be a letting go. Differentiate between whether it’s a choice that your child is making as their own individual person, or your perception of their choice.”
She encourages baby steps, which she believes Bridging Hearts provides. “Bridging Hearts provides a safe and neutral platform for understanding and growth, both as a family unit and as an individual – whether you’re a parent or the youth.”
She also acknowledges that parents grieve too. “Sometimes, parents don’t let go because they don’t want to let go of the ‘child’, and that is understandable. It’s something most, if not all, parents experience,” she emphathises. “The grief of ‘letting go’ of the ‘child’ will come eventually, especially as your child continues to grow up. And addressing this grief is the baby step, something that Bridging Hearts helps with.”
Her final message for parents is this: “Continue caring for them through their youth and adulthood, but don’t forget to care for yourself too. A little bit of letting go on both sides, will do both well.”
Build Your Bridge
If you’ve been feeling the gap with your child, or your parent, Bridging Hearts is here for you. Join us for our upcoming run today.
